Thursday, February 24, 2011
I have a hot date!
With my hot hubby-to-be!
Seriously, someone should give my mom a dozen roses (I sure as hell can't afford them, but she deserves them). I have a date lined up for next Monday with Charlie, and Grandma's babysitting...and we don't have a curfew! :) We'll probably still be home by ten because we're cool like that, but still...a date without a curfew with a hot guy!
Our relationship hasn't been as great as usual in the last few weeks. Aside from having a teething five-month old together, we have many shared responsibilities to bills and work that have taken the front burner in our relationship instead of each other. After going around and around about the same things we always argue about this last time, it occurred to me that we're not that mad with each other over the things we argue about. We miss each other.
Charlie's gone for most of the day at work, and Lydia's my primary responsibility in the household. I pick up hours at New Horizons and the Left Bank, but I take the reins when it comes to raising our daughter. I get up with her at night and play with her all day. And when she's napping or playing contentedly by herself, I'm reading parenting blogs and books, and piecing together the framework for how I want to raise Lydia. When Charlie gets home from work, be it 6:00pm or 2:00am, I'm exhausted and so is he. Bye bye sex life, bye bye romance, bye bye spark.
We muster through each day and sometimes wallow in the negative. Charlie is a grump when he doesn't feel good, and he doesn't feel 100% most of the time because of his crazy work schedule and less-than-ideal places of employment. This morning he woke up with a stuffy nose and stomach cramps, and I'm tired from being up with Lydia since 4:00am (and I have a stuffy nose, for the record). I was boiling my pump parts from my NEW PUMP YEAH!! and he came in all scowly and owly and cold from not feeling well, so I made him a cup of tea and tried to cuddle. He refused and left soon after with an "I love you, see you later." I feel challenged and lost in how he feels, which is incredibly co-dependent; he's a big boy, and I don't need to take his projections and protests of not feeling well as personal insults or anything.
Sigh. But I do. However, that's MY issue to deal with, not his.
We still flirt from time to time...I'll give him an "ow ow!" with a wink as he struts from the shower to the bedroom to get dressed. And he'll nuzzle my neck when I've actually managed to get dressed for the day and tell me how pretty I am. But most of the time, I'm dressed comfortably (i.e. long underwear bottoms or pajama pants topped with a sexy t-shirt filled with drool and spit up), my hair's up, and the last thing on my mind is impressing Charlie.
That needs to change. Starting with this date, we need to begin making time for each other. It's not about finding time...you'll find another 100 things to work into the day before you find the time to get dressed or take a shower. I've been creative in getting things done for myself, such as wrapping Lydia in a towel and bringing her into the shower with me. She loves hanging out in her little tub and playing with a toy in there. I may not always shave my legs or worry about a face scrub, but when you're a busy mom, a hot shower is such a luxury...even when your kid's sharing it with you. Hey, the steam is good for the runny nose she has!
At the end of the day, we need to remember that we have done amazing things together, and we have a future of impossibly awesome things in the years to come. Hey, we created life! I gave birth with this man's arms wrapped around me, his chin against my shoulder whispering encouragement as I pushed our beautiful daughter out, tears streaming down both of our faces when we laid eyes on Lydia for the first time. We hope to have more children together too, and have enjoyed building our life together so far.
Posted by Katie at 5:57 AM