Thursday, January 13, 2011

Motherhood: we're all in this together

I received a few interested parties to my plea for new writers on this blog, and this post was the first one I have received. Heartfelt and determined, I grew weepy reading it. The author, Jennifer, has some amazing things to say. Jen, thank you so much for your words. I'm sure I speak for my readers as well as myself in saying that we appreciate the emotional risks you took in writing this post...thank you for being vulnerable, and exposing a hidden side of motherhood that we need to be aware of! Love to you and your beeeyouteaful daughter :)

And now, her post:

Well here goes nothing! How do you start a blog post anyways. Please bear with me.

To start I am a few things. I am a new mom, I am a fiancé, I am a daughter, and I am me. And who I am plays a lot into the previous roles listed.

I found Katie’s blog when she posted the link on facebook. So, naturally I read it. I love to follow blogs of people I know. I have a plump folder on my favorite file on my internet browser full of links to people’s blogs. I am intrigued by all the differences in everyday lives of people. Maybe that explains my addiction to reality television? That is whole other topic.

Fast forward. Katie asked if anyone wanted to co-author. I thought, well I might like to. I have often thought of starting my own blog. But I never knew what I would write about. I don’t think I am interesting. I go to work, I raise my daughter, I love my fiancĂ© and dog, and I do normal everyday average things.

Katie’s blog peaked my interest. Like Katie, I am a new mom. My daughter is almost 6 months old. So not to much older than Lydia. My pregnancy was a blessed surprise and I would not have changed one moment of it our or new life with our daughter. Katie once posted on facebook how she was grateful that her unborn daughter was healthy. She hit a cord with me. Being my pregnancy was a blessed surprise, when I found out we were having our daughter, the past months of my life haunted me and I replayed every step worrying that I might have done something to harm our unborn daughter. However shortly after, she was born and she has been a bright, happy, healthy baby girl. Sometimes I wonder where she gets all her energy and happiness! Then all the time I wonder what I have done to deserve such a blessing.

Alas, to the point. When I was pregnant I was asked, by all women, “so are you going to nurse”. My laid back, take it as it comes attitude was “I will give it a shot and see how it goes. I am never adamant either way. When our daughter was born she was the text book nurser. She nursed like a champ and I never had any issues physically.

Fast forward. Two weeks passed. I was now nursing and pumping. And I was now getting emotional. I left the room to nurse if people were over. I pumped with the door closed. I felt like a cow. I broke. I could not do it anymore. Looking back I think the post-partum emotions you go through played a lot in this. I weaned our daughter to formula and I endured the painful process of stopping nursing (painful physically). I felt like a failure. I felt like a bad mom. The short statements above show how I felt. I was short with everyone. I was unhappy. Why?

I am to this day not sure why. Being a more private person I never felt comfortable nursing in public. I never felt comfortable talking about nursing when caring women in my life asked. Then reading Katie’s blog it hit me… I really think that some society, some component of society, something I had connection with in my life created a self conscious feeling in me when it came to nursing and what nursing is about.

So here is where I stand. Nursing is a wonderful and natural part of life. What did they do before formula? NURSED! But that was the option so I have a inkling it was “normal”. If you can nurse and pump and provide the natural nutrients for your child, you get a big “you go girl” from me. If, like me, you find yourself struggling emotionally, you or your child can physically not nurse for whatever reason, or it is just not your thing… you get a big “you go girl” from me. Here is the big picture. YOU ARE A MOTHER. YOU PROVIDED LIFE. You have accomplished, what I think, is the biggest feat in life. Either way, it is time as mothers; we support each other’s choices. What we all need to band together on is being a mother period. You choose to cloth diaper your child, more power to you! You choose to use disposable diaper, more power to you. You make your own baby food, you rock! You purchase baby food, you rock! You nurse, you go girl, you provide nutrients for your child through today’s advanced formulas, you go girl.

You, we all, have accomplished, day to day being a mother. Regardless of your style, your beliefs, your politics, your religion, we have one thing in common. We will and do lie down on the line for our child or children to nurture them into being the best people they can be both physically, mentally, and emotionally. Let’s keep the conversations open in all our different parenting ways. Differences are a good thing. We all get to learn. But let’s keep in the back of our mommy minds that we all have being a mother in common, and that is what matters the most.

To end, I wanted in some way to say that in the bigger picture, your choices on how your raise your child are yours and they are right for you and your child. That is why I love reading Katie’s blog. We parent different in some ways. Even though what she does may not work for me, I get to gain greater perspective on different child rearing ideas, thoughts, techniques etc.

Look at yourself, as a mother today in the mirror and tell yourself you can’t not do everything, but you can do ANYTHING. And keep on trucking on momma!

1 comment:

  1. I loved your post and agree with you 100%. I nurse, cloth diaper, and make baby food for my son. This is what works and what is right for OUR family and I am proud that I am able to do these things for him. Does this make my son better than your daughter? Does it make me a better mom than you? Absolutly NOT!!! We need to remember that we are not all in the same situations, don't have the same lifestyles, upbringings, beliefs, ext... This is what makes us all unique and special. BUT we all have one thing in common, we are all trying to raise our babys/children the best ways that we know how!!! We need to stick together and praise eachother for what we do because we are all awesome in our own ways :)