Saturday, January 8, 2011

Whoops, I'm nursing too much......or am I?

Charlie and I got into a lively discussion this morning about spoiling our daughter. She hasn't been napping lately, but gets tired and crabby around the time she should be going down for a snooze. Instead of holding onto a frantic, tired baby clawing at my breasts, I nurse her until she falls asleep, which ends up happening about five minutes into nursing. Charlie thinks that this is having an effect on how much my breasts let down during a nursing/pumping session, and we discussed our options on how often to nurse and pick up our ever-changing daughter.
2 days old with a lot to learn about all this :)

Then spoiling came up. Charlie thinks that Lydia has me trained to nurse her at her beck and call, which is pretty much true. Crabby? Let's nurse. Tired? I'll whip them out. First thing in the morning snuggle kisses butterfly you-are-my-darling-daughter-and-i'll-give-you-anything-you-want sweet nothing nursing? Heck yes. The problem is, now it's an expected thing, and she gets fussy when we try to soothe in a different way. I've been fixing all her baby issues in the best (breast, haha) way I can, which has led us to a dilemma: I'm the only one who can readily comfort our daughter. This leaves me tied down, and Charlie feels bad that he can't provide the same support and love for our daughter.
happy girl

So this morning, a few minutes ago, Lydia got fussy and wanted to nurse, so I nursed her. She fell asleep five minutes in. Charlie and I talked, and he took her to rock and shush her. She woke up and cried, and now I can hear them in the nursery, fussing and shhing away. My boobs are literally tingling from my wanting to nurse, and I know that she's confused as to why she's not using me as a pacifier at the moment.
relaxed much? good grief.

What do we do? Charlie's not around at all during the week; he works from 8-6, and two or three nights a week bartending until midnight or later. I'm not able to pump enough to stock up and have him feed her a bottle every once in a while. Everything I pump goes to my mom, who feeds her 10-12 oz on the nights that I work at New Horizons, and I'm not able to save up much more than that. Should I start training her to eat less frequent, bigger meals and pump in between? Or should I just keep nursing on demand on the prospect that this is the only time in her life that she'll be this little, this perfect? The La Leche League's basic gist says to nurse all the time, whenever she wants, and pump as much as I can to keep the milk coming, but to me that's just not practical. Or fair to Charlie or anyone else that isn't lactating and wants to comfort her, for that matter.

This is a real problem for our family, and I'd love some feedback on how we can get back on track with nursing and napping. I'm getting tired of the simultaneous napping and nursing...her sleeping with my nipple in her mouth is cute and sweet, but man alive, I have stuff to do! :)

On another note, I just checked on them in the nursery, and they're both fast asleep. Aww.

Thoughts? Thank you!


  1. Hey Katie,
    I went through the same thing with my girls. They (especially Stella, whom I let abuse me because she's the last baby I'll ever have!) both liked to try that trick. I read in a previous post/blog (or somewhere...) that you don't believe in the cry it out method. This is what I used, and after the first gut wrenching night/nap, it got steadily easier and better. Now, they both go down like clock work at the appropriate time, whether they sleep or not. It's just routine.
    However, since you have indicated that you don't like this, I have one other suggestion you might want to try. They make a pacifier called the Binky. They carry it at Wal-Mart, and I found it very handy for times like this. They come in two sizes and are supposed to be more like a real nipple, so the baby doesn't get the whole nipple confusion thing going on. I know "they" say that you shouldn't use a Binky, paci, nook, whatever you want to call it, because baby should get all the suckling it needs from nursing with mom. I have to tell you, though, that using the Binky didn't effect my daughters' appetites at all. When they just needed to suck for comfort it was perfect. If they were really and truly hungry, they spit it out right away and carried on with their tirade. Just a suggestion. Good luck with the little bean :)

  2. We are going through the same thing... except Eli naps just fine and doesn't sleep at night. He thinks that he needs to eat all night long and if I try the unlatch him he is up and screaming within seconds no matter how sound asleep he was. I to need suggestions on how to fix this because this mamma has slept in the rocker (I refuse to put him in bed with us)attatched one night to many!!! I have tried a nook and he won't take it. Last night I even let him cry it out (for about 2 minutes) but I had to rescue him!!!

  3. All I can honestly offer, and coming from an attachment parent, is that even though it does not feel like it now, there is light at the end of the tunnel. These days will be gone in a flash and your babes will be big kids. I am proud and oh so glad that I fed on demand. It was right for me in my situation. The only way babies can express need is through crying and fussing, they have no words. I felt it best to meet their needs and in the long run I think it creates a confident self esteem and a strong bond. They know you have their back! ;-)